Gladdening the mind

Inspired by Tara Brach talk: Happy for No Reason, Part 2.

 

“When you go to a garden do you look at thorns or flowers? Spend more time with roses and jasmine” -Rumi

 

Awareness is the intention of mindfulness practice. And working with what is there is also part of the moment and the practice. We know now of the ‘darkside’ of neuroplasticity: our biological negativity bias primes us to pay most attention to threat and danger. Unaware  we allow that bias to become the habit of mind. Awareness invites us to tune into those habitual patterns: we notice the mind’s bias for the negative and how that narrows our perspective and restricts our actions. Yet we can also remember ‘positive neuroplasticity’: that we equally have a natural capacity for goodwill, peace and joy. How that cultivates the space, the bigger picture, the broader perspective. Helping us to be with those difficult moments in this broader compassionate space.

Mindfulness practice helps us to become aware, to cultivate a space for wise responding in life. From that space we can create different habits of mind, habits of mind that cultivate that goodwill and ‘gladden the mind’. Where will that lead us then?  An ocean of possibility. The joyful mystery of living unfolds. Being with all that is, in midst of challenge and difficulty, acknowledging and recognising that and also acknowledging and recognising the goodwill and kindness that is there too. Back and forth.  Ebb and flow.  Riding those waves of life. With an ease rather than a forceful grasping.

We can actively notice and cultivate our natural goodwill in 3 easy ways:

1. Gratitude: Appreciating 3 things each day, no matter how small or mechanical this act seems to be. Studies show that writing these 3 things down over 15 days, most of us feel different, with a more positive outlook in life. Sharing these with others and we feel more connected too.  How can you cultivate the attitude of gratitude today?
2. Serving: We are biased for self-referential thinking, addicted to it even.  Again this is linked to our threat thinking loop. Being less self-absorbed is less painful though. And connecting with others and having meaning in life helps. Studies show that when we give to others, the pleasure spots in our brains light up.  As simple as a kind thought, look, or wish for others  we can cultivate that attitude of friendliness towards all. What random act of kindness can you offer today?
3. Savouring: How often do we simply allow ourselves to receive the pleasurable moments in life? To recognise that this is enough. The surprise hug from a loved one, the sweet song of the garden robin, a cool breeze or warm sun on your face, a kindly message from a friend. Name it, savour it, sensing in the body where we feel the moment – the smell, the sound, the touch, the taste, the felt emotion in the body; acknowledging that ‘this is a happy moment’. Can you allow yourself to receive these happy moments today?

Try it and see what happens!

 

 

May I be happy, my dear friend may you be happy, may all beings everywhere be happy.  Though it may not be so.  May it be so.

Balancing

Remember to take in the good, little by little

The intention and attitude

Meditation is better than knowledge;

Yet even better than meditation is the release of attachment to the fruits of our efforts,

For peace immediately follows.

(Bhagavad Gita)

Each day I am learning from practice about perspectives, relationships and thought-framing and reframing.  There’s a balancing in life and meditation – effort and ease, discipline and liberation, light and dark, excitement and fear, noticing and letting go.

As I morning journal, I’ve learned that I have an automatic to-do list for the day. It is reamed off in my mind before I’m even aware that I am waking out of my slumber! So what if instead of waking with a list of to-dos or a list of ‘have tos’, I could have an attitude of appreciation with a list of ‘get tos’ instead. Rather than ‘I have to meditate, run, make that call, remember that email and on and on’ – I may remember that – I get to … meditate, run, make that call …. I wonder how that might be?

It reminds me of the guidance Tara Brach offers in meditation – to bring a smile to the corner of your eyes, your mind, your heart.  Feeling from the inside out. The act of the smile, the movement itself, is the antidote, the salve for the fight-flight auto-response. I get to have that experience, my choice to see what happens. I get to have that moment.

A-B-C of Mindfulness

A = Awareness.  Arising when we deliberately and actively choose to pay attention to our moment to moment experience, with a friendly and non judging attitude, our aspiration being to step out of autopilot, come to our senses with a freshness, an openness and a curiosity and discover for ourselves what happens as our moments unfold in their own time and their own way.

B = Balancing.  Our being and doing modes of mind are not in competition but are complementary; we balance between body and mind; all the time aware of the breath, our life force …

C = Connecting. Experiencing our body-mind connectivity, connected by the breath; through our practice we are nurturing compassion for self and others; becoming aware of choices in life and experiencing a sense of the bigger container, our capacity to hold all experiences with the same compassion and awareness, be that pleasant or unpleasant.